Fake Front

Uh no.
That heading was not meant to refer to myself.
Hmm.. I kind of not like people with fake fronts.
Why can't there be more real people?
Why must there even be a front?
It's what made my family so unpredictably predictable.
Ok. That was rather random.
I was just talking in my own language; if you can understand it, then good for you.
If not, don't bother thinking about it, it's not sth philosophical to think it over anyways.

I think this fake front stuffs are starting to build their pressure on me.
Ah.. but perhaps, it has all along been been doing that?
Ha..
I don't know.
I just used my whole night to think everything through after a bomb just exploded at home last night.
I realised some things.
It's not that I dislike studying.
True enough, I have sometimes jokingly said that my ambition is to be a tai-tai.
But I don't think that is what I really want yet.
I realised that I am actually ok with studying, but it's the circumstances that forced me to dislike getting into an university and even shuddering at the thought of furthering my studies.
I hate it when that someone says " oh.. you shouldn't worry so much about the money issues.. you just concentrate on studying properly."
That sounds nice right?
Like a caring character and all.
But not when that someone feels like blasting off at you, that someone will go, "don't forget you're living off me; I am the ONE paying for your studies and everything. And if I can create you, I can destroy you as well."
Whatever lah. I am sick of hearing all of that shit already lorhs.
:(

Ah wells.. I am done with releasing all the stress in me.
Do not think too much about this post.
I am just looking for an outlet.
For I know bottling up too much can lead me to depression.
And I am not someone who puts on a fake front and hides everything ugly that is in me from the outside world.